50 Years

When it comes to marriage, do you ever find yourself sitting back and wondering “What was God even thinking?”

I do.

The idea that He would take two such distinctly different people and put them together seems like a recipe for disaster, doesn’t it?

Each of us comes from such different backgrounds and upbringings. We come with our own styles of relating or ways of coping with things. We have differing religious beliefs or ways of handling conflict. We’re just so different, right?

One’s a spender and the other a saver. One is always hot and the other is always cold. One likes watching TV in their downtime and the other would never turn the contraption on.

The list could go on. Toothpaste … squeeze from the top or the bottom? Toilet paper … does the loose end go in the front or the back? Do you rise early to catch the sunrise or sleep late because you were up gaming until 3am?

We are just so different. The idea that God would take these two completely opposite individuals and put them together for the rest of their lives seems absurd. It’s like putting a dog and a cat in a small box and asking them to play nice.

But God knows what He’s doing.

There are hard times, sure. Let’s be honest … relationships, in general, are hard. But not everything about marriage is a struggle. There are a great many good things too.

There are long conversations until the wee hours of the morning spent dreaming of the future.

There is time to spend learning about each other. What does he or she like? What makes them come alive? In what situations do they thrive?

There are gifts given from the heart because you actually care about another person.

There are the years that you get to spend just enjoying someone else. There is laughter, love, and joy in abundance.

There is the adventure of being in pursuit of a common goal. No matter what that goal looks like. It could be raising kids, owning a business, or just living life the best way you know how. You get to do it together … and that’s what matters.

There’s freedom to just be yourself around someone else. When you’re with your person you no longer need to carry around the heavy walls that you put up when you’re around other people. You get to just be you.

Again, God knows what He’s doing.

I say all that to say this: Marriage is worth it. It’s beautiful and wonderful and full of life. Yes it’s hard, but the hard is what makes it great.

Today I wanted to take a minute to celebrate my parents 50th wedding anniversary. Through all of the ups and downs, the joys and the struggles, they’ve made it work. They’ve been through hard things, they’ve figured it out, and they’ve loved each other in the process. There has been a lot of joy and fun too. There has been laughter and love. Their relationship works because they work. I’m so proud of them and I thank God that they continue to make it work every day.

I love you Mom and Dad! Thank you so much for leading the way and showing us how to make marriage last forever. You’re an inspiration to me. I want to love Heather more and better every day because you two have led the way. Thank you.

If it weren’t for our current pandemic we would be celebrating with them at a big party right now. But alas, we are not. So this is my celebration for them. We’ll try an actual celebration again next year for their 50+1!